Every Rose Has Its Thorns
by Tahiri Solo
Summary: "WARNING: CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR STAR BY STAR* A companion piece to Wrap Me In Your Wings, concerning Jaina's "Dark Journey" and the one person who can save her from herself . . . (Jaina/Zekk, not for all you Jag or Kyp people out there.)


Every Rose Has Its Thorns  
By Tahiri Solo  
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Disclaimer: All the characters, places and such mentioned in this are the property of Lucasfilm. I own nothing and an in no way making any money off of this story. Also, if this bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.  
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A/N: Takes place during Wrap Me In Your Wings, or Dark Journey. Jaina has turned to the dark side and been off killing the Vong, and Zekk has been trying to find her. He finally caught up with her, but just as just as he's going up to her, it finally dawns on her what she's done, and she breaks . . .  
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A/N 2: In the middle of writing this fic, I found out the Vong took Coruscant in Star By Star. Since I skipped over a good bit of the book, I missed that. So, in this fic and also Wrap Me In Your Wings, Coruscant is not in Vong control. Just forget that ever happened, because it really sucks that Coruscant has fallen! This fic goes out to all my fellow Jaina/Zekk shippers: Jaina~sis (Jaina Solo00), April, Zekk Skywalk, Steven (hrdrck4evr), Angela, and anyone else I might have missed. (Forgive me if I did, it's merely out of stupidity. *grins*) Jaina/Zekk forever, forget Jag and Kyp!   
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"What have I done?"  
  
Jaina Solo's soft, anguished whisper cut through Zekk like a knife. He moved to stand beside her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Jaina, I know how you feel . . . I've been there too."  
  
Jaina jerked angrily away from him. "No, you don't know how I feel!" she cried. "Zekk, Anakin died to save my life, and look what I did with my life after that! I gave in to hate and anger, and let the dark side control me. Even though Anakin was hotheaded, he never would have given in like I did. Oh, Sithspawn, I feel like I've betrayed him . . . my little brother . . . I know I did. What kind of sister am I?"  
  
Before Zekk could do or say anything, Jaina fell to her knees, weeping uncontrollably. Zekk reached out to her almost instantly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly to him. Jaina gripped him desperately in a vain attempt to stay upright, but, sobbing too hard to stand, she fell back to her knees. Zekk went down with her and pulled her into his lap, cradling her there and rocking her gently back and forth.   
  
Jaina sobbed into his chest, her screams only slightly muffled from his shirt. Zekk said nothing, knowing that there was nothing he could say, but simply held her and did anything he could to help ease her storm of black despair. Zekk wished desperately that he could take all of her pain away and put it on himself instead. It ate away at him to see the person he cherished most in the entire galaxy so broken. Jaina had always been so strong, yet so innocent - two of the things that Zekk loved most about her.   
  
But now her strength and innocence were gone, and only a broken shell of a woman left in their place.  
  
  
Finally, after over an hour later, Jaina stopped crying, and Zekk breathed a silent sigh of relief. Hopefully she'd let out all of the demons that seemed to be chasing her.  
  
She stayed in his lap for several minutes, her face pressed into his chest, sniffing and trembling. Zekk continued to hold her, stroking her hair, until she abruptly pulled away and scrambled to her feet. She stared at him for a long moment, her eyes bloodshot.   
  
"Your hair," she said at last. "What the hell did you do to your hair?"  
  
Zekk reached up to touch his hair, which was now short and spiked. He grinned. "It's a wig. I wanted to disguise myself when I came after you, but I didn't want to cut it. Judging by the look on your face, it looks terrible."  
  
Jaina shook her head. "No. I like it. It's sexy." She blinked. "But then again, your old hair was sexy too. So maybe it's just you."  
  
Zekk laughed, and then Jaina began laughing. Soon, they were both in tears of mirth.   
  
Zekk caught her in a fierce, enveloping embrace, holding her close. "You're back," he whispered into her hair. "You're finally back."  
  
Jaina pulled back, just enough so that she could look up at him. "I don't know why you put up with me," she said, shaking her head. "I went all crazy on everyone and ran off . . . and yet you still came after me. You should have just left me to die - I probably would have ended up killing myself. The galaxy would be better off without me."  
  
"Jaina." Zekk's voice was hard, yet gentle and soothing at the same time. "Don't even think things like that. I would never leave you to die, and the galaxy would not be better off without you. Nothing could be farther from the truth."  
  
Jaina snorted. "Zekk, look at me. I was a pilot. That was all I could do, all I was good at. It was my life - I was willing to forfeit my Jedi training to do it. But Rogue Squadron's never going to want me back after this, not after what I've done. They'll be afraid I'll fly off the handle again and do something else crazy. So now I'm virtually useless." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And Zekk, if there's one thing I'm afraid of becoming, it's useless. I want to make a difference, not disappear without a trace. I would rather die than have that happen. I wish I had been killed in battle," she added bitterly. "At least then I would have gone honorably."  
  
Zekk stared into her eyes for a long moment, then said softly, "Jaina, you are not useless. I've already talked to Colonel Darklighter, and he is more than willing to accept you back into the squadron - in fact, he's desperate to have you back. He says you're one of the best pilot's he's ever seen, and he doesn't want to lose you."  
  
Zekk sighed. "And even if he didn't, Jaina, it wouldn't matter. You will never be useless. Do you realize how many people love - adore - you? I once saw little girls pretending to be flying in X-wings, and they were fighting over who got to be Sticks. Every single pilot I've ever met respects you. Your parents love you. Jacen loves you. Your friends. Your aunt and uncle." He flashed her a crooked grin. "Me."  
  
There was something about his smile and his voice that made Jaina's stomach flutter, her heart race, and her knees go weak, all at the same time. Trying to ignore the strange way her body was acting, Jaina said, "If little girls want to be me, then I pity them. I'm not worthy of any pilot's respect, not after the way I've been acting. My family, even my friends - I'm never going to hear the end of this from them. Mara might understand, but she's still going to light into me, without a doubt. And I'm certainly not looking forward to that. Jacen will never forgive me. He's so outspoken against using the Force for aggression. And my parents and Uncle Luke, and my friends . . . they won't understand." She laughed bitterly. "I'm not going to have so much of a fan base after this, and I deserve that, too. I made stupid mistakes. And Anakin, poor Anakin . . . ." Her voice trailed off and she looked like she was about to cry, but she got a hold of herself.   
  
Zekk moved closer to her and gently wiped a single tear from her cheek. "Jaina," he murmured, "you forget who you're talking to. I made even more stupid mistakes than you did, and believe me, I will regret them till the day I die," Zekk closed his eyes as he said this, almost as if to block out painful memories, "but you have to learn to forgive yourself. Other people will forgive you - and they will, believe it or not - but the most important thing is that you forgive yourself."  
  
"Maybe I don't want to be forgiven," Jaina whispered, staring up into his emerald green eyes. "Maybe I don't think I deserve it."  
  
Zekk's eyes widened, and he held her by the shoulders. "Jaina, you're scaring me," he said softly, a deep concern for her evident in his eyes. "You're never going to heal if you think this way."  
  
"I don't want to heal. I want to die. I wish I could have died in Anakin's place. I was his big sister, and I was supposed to protect him. Do you realize how much it hurts that he died protecting me instead?" She turned away from him, but Zekk could see her trembling.  
  
Zekk ached to protect her from the galaxy - and herself. But he knew that he couldn't, as much as he wanted to.   
  
Instead, he walked up behind her and said softly, "Believe it or not, I do. My little sister died on Ennth." Zekk sighed. He had never told anyone this, not Peckhum, not even Jaina. The memories still hurt. "She was three years younger than me, but we were still very close. When the disasters came again, I was supposed to take her up to one of the evac ships while my parents stayed behind gathering up last mementos and such. But she was petrified. She begged me to let her stay with our parents. I finally decided it would be okay to let her stay, to keep her from being so scared. I thought my parents would surely be up on the ships long before anything happened.  
  
"But I was wrong. I blamed myself for a long time, a very long time. But then I realized: I hadn't killed my sister. I never would have hurt her; I would have given my life for her. And I think she knew that, despite how young we were. I didn't purposely cause her   
death - natural disasters killed her, not me. And you didn't kill Anakin. The Yuuzhan Vong did. Not you. And Anakin knew that. He never would have blamed you."  
  
Jaina turned back around to face him, and he saw the salty lines drawn down her cheeks. "You never told me that," she said softly.  
  
Zekk gave her a small smile. "Too painful. I don't like talking about it. But what I said is the truth: You didn't kill Anakin."  
  
Jaina surprised him rushing into his arms and burying herself against his chest. Zekk held her as she sobbed yet again - but this time, her tears were silent and cleansing. He could feel some of the hole in her spirit beginning to mend, and he reached out to her gently in the Force, doing whatever he could to help the healing along.  
  
Even as he held her trembling body close against his own, Zekk smiled.   
  
She would heal. He didn't know how long it would take, but she would heal.   
  
  
Jaina woke, blinking in confusion. Where was she, and what had happened? Looking around, she realized she was in one of the Lightning Rod's bunk rooms. Her last memory was of sobbing in Zekk's arms.  
  
Ah. She must have cried herself to sleep and he'd brought her in here.   
  
Jaina stifled a yawn and stretched, absently flicking her long brown hair out of her face. She felt . . . better. Not quite good, but better. Her pain had lessened significantly, though she doubted if it would ever completely disappear. But now she realized that it hadn't been her fault that Anakin had died, and that he would never have wanted her to be this way.  
  
Jaina also knew that she owed her new mental state to Zekk . . . and that she never would have made it through the previous day if it hadn't been for him. If he hadn't been there . . . she didn't even want to think about what would have happened.  
  
Stifling another yawn, Jaina swung herself out of the bunk and headed for the cockpit. She needed to talk to Zekk.  
  
  
She found him sitting in the pilot's seat, apparently running diagnostics. He turned around and smiled at her, his eyes searching her face. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.  
  
"I'm better. Not good yet, but better. Much better." She hesitated, not quite sure what to say, or how to say it. "Zekk, I -"  
  
He got up and walked over to her, shaking his head. "You don't have to say anything. I was just returning the favor."  
  
Jaina opened her mouth as if to say something anyway, then closed it. Instead, she hugged him, fiercely, letting him know through the Force how grateful she was.  
  
He sent her his unconditional acceptance in return, and Jaina reveled in it. Even if no one else ever forgave her for this, she would still have Zekk.  
  
And if she had him, she realized suddenly, she would be okay.  
  
"I've missed you, Zekk," Jaina murmured into his shirt. "I kind of expected you to join Rogue Squadron with me, and it stung that you didn't. The New Republic needs every decent pilot it can get - and you're every bit as good as me. Plus," she added, blushing and grateful that he couldn't see, "I don't like being away from you.."  
  
She heard Zekk's soft laugh. "Don't think I haven't miss you too," he told her. "But you are never going to believe the reason why I never joined Rogue Squadron with you."  
  
Jaina pulled back enough to look at him. "What was it?"  
  
"I heard your uncle talking about how people close with former dark siders can have bad things happen to them - Callista lost her Force powers, Gaeriel Captison even died. I didn't want that to happen to you, and I figured that you'd have enough problems, dealing with the skips, that you didn't need a former dark sider there too."  
  
"You overprotective idiot," Jaina said with a laugh, pulling back from him. "I don't think we really have to worry about that too much anymore, now do we?"  
  
Zekk flashed a grin back at her. "Not really."  
  
Jaina's eyes gleamed. "So if I go back to the Squadron . . . will you come with me?"  
  
Zekk nodded.  
  
Jaina threw her arms back around him, a wide grin on her face. Things were starting to look up.  
  
"Jaina?" Zekk asked softly. "Can I take you back to your family now? They're all really worried about you."  
  
He felt Jaina stiffen against him, and she shook her head. "No," she said firmly. "No, no, no. I'm not ready to face them yet. Please," she added, and she sounded almost desperate, "just let me stay here with you for a little while longer."  
  
Zekk rubbed her back. "Jaina, it's okay. I'm not taking you anywhere unless you want and are ready to go. You can stay here for as long as you need - it's not a problem. But can I at least call them and let them know you're okay?"  
  
"That would probably be a good idea," Jaina admitted. "Just as long as I don't have to talk to any of them yet."  
  
"Sure thing. Do you want to leave while I call them so you don't have to talk?"  
  
"Good idea," Jaina said, heading back to the bunk rooms. "Oh, and Zekk?" she added.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You'd be better off if you didn't talk to my aunt or father. Try my mom or Uncle Luke. Aunt Mara would want to run out here and drag me back by the ears, if she had to, and so would Dad. They'd probably get mad at you, too."  
  
"You're probably right," Zekk said with a grin.   
  
"Of course I am. You don't know my aunt like I do. You don't want to make her mad."  
  
With that, Jaina left the cockpit and headed for the bunkrooms.   
  
  
Jaina sprawled out on a bunk, sighing heavily. She did miss her family. She wanted to see her parents, and her uncle - she even wanted to hear Aunt Mara yell at her. She missed her baby cousin, and especially her twin brother, who she had helped to rescue weeks earlier from the Yuuzhan Vong worldship.   
  
But she knew that she still wasn't quite ready to face them - and going back to her family would be hard, because Anakin wouldn't be there.   
  
She squeezed her eyes shut. She'd cried enough over the last few days. She didn't need to cry any more.   
  
But salty tears still made their way down her face.  
  
  
Jaina didn't know how much time passed before Zekk walked in.   
  
"None of your family was available," he announced.  
  
Jaina sat up. "They weren't? Where were they?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know. Nothing's wrong, though. I made sure of that. I talked to Kyp Durron instead."  
  
Zekk saw Jaina wince at the name, and he went and sat next to her on the bunk. "He said for me to tell you he was sorry for what he did, but he wouldn't say what that was."  
  
Jaina grunted and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow, not wanting to think about that worldship, or the person who had made her responsible for destroying it.   
  
Zekk stroked her hair. "Jaina, what did he do to you?"  
  
Sighing, she rolled back over and gazed up into his eyes, which plainly reflected a deep concern for her. Slowly, haltingly, the whole story of the worldship poured out of her, as Zekk listened in silence.  
  
When she was done, Zekk's eyes were clouded over with barely restrained fury. "That piece of Hutt slime," he growled. "I should find him and -"  
  
"And what, Zekk?" Jaina asked. "Vape him into space dust? That wouldn't do anyone any good." She managed a small grin. "And believe me, if it would, I'd've done it myself months ago."  
  
He folded both hands around one of hers and squeezed gently. "Are you okay, though?" he asked softly. "That's the only real important thing."  
  
She considered that before she answered. "It hurt me, what he did," she said at last. "I trusted him and then . . . Well. I wasn't okay for a long while, but I am now. People like him aren't worth getting upset over. I learned my lesson, and I've moved on."  
  
Zekk smiled down at her, and her stomach turned over.  
  
What is wrong with my body? Jaina thought angrily, trying to ignore the sensations going up her arm from where his skin touched hers. It's just Zekk! I've known him forever! What is my problem?  
  
Shaking her head slightly to clear it, Jaina yawned.   
  
Zekk smiled at her again. "Jaina, maybe you should get some sleep. You need rest."  
  
She was about to argue when she yawned again, loudly. "I guess you're right," she said with a faint smile.  
  
Zekk squeezed her hand, then stood and was about to leave the room when she asked softly, "Would you stay with me? I really don't want to be alone right now."  
  
He walked back over to her and sat beside her on the bunk. Smiling softly, he gently caressed her shoulder with his hand.  
  
Jaina, surprised to find herself struggling just to keep from trembling at his touch, looked up at him and said, "Zekk, if you have other things to do, you can leave. I know I've been a bother, and I'm really sorry about that . . ."  
  
Zekk cut her off by placing a finger to her lips. "Jaina, don't even talk like that. Nothing in this galaxy is more important to me than you, and you have not been a bother. I would do anything for you."  
  
Jaina smiled, reached up to brush his cheek with her hand - then fell instantly asleep.  
  
Zekk smiled. Fighter pilot's habit. He stroked her hair, twirling a long brown lock around his finger. Her breathing was even, and she looked so peaceful. Zekk hoped she was as peaceful as she looked.   
  
If there was one thing Zekk hated, it was seeing Jaina in pain.  
  
He closed his eyes, reaching out to her in the Force, to put her into an even deeper sleep. He knew she needed all the rest she could get.  
  
When his mind brushed hers, he encountered an immensely complex series of barriers. Zekk sighed inwardly. She was walling herself off from the galaxy, and any human companionship. He had to help her, somehow. She was so lost.  
  
Using a touch lighter than the gentlest caress, Zekk carefully slipped through the first level of barriers. Despite how carefully constructed they were, the fact that they had been friends for years and had been so close broke him through.  
  
This went on for quite some time, but Zekk finally managed to ease his mind into hers -   
  
And into a maelstrom.  
  
Anguish, pain, fear, regret, bitterness, betrayal, anger, a desire for vengeance, loss . . . all of these hit Zekk at once with the force of a tidal wave, nearly throwing him out of her mind.  
  
Conflicting emotions swirled around him, and Zekk felt like he was being sucked into a black hole.   
  
Zekk's green eyes filled with tears, just as Jaina's blinked open. He could not imagine the innocent little girl whom he had met so many years before growing up into someone so wounded.  
  
Jaina pushed herself up on her elbows. "Zekk, you're crying."  
  
Then her face filled with anger as she felt Zekk's mind touching hers. "Get out of my head!" She frantically began trying to pull her barriers back up, to throw him out.  
  
She scrambled off the bed, eyes blazing with fury. "How dare you! You have no right to invade my privacy that way!"  
  
Jaina backed towards the door, her expression a cross between fury and a plea for understanding. "Would you just quit being so protective of me? I'm not yours to take care of. I'm not a little girl anymore."  
  
Zekk moved forward and caught her by the shoulders, holding her firmly. "Jaina, you're broken," he said softly. Then his voice dropped a pitch, low and gentle. "Let me help you."  
  
Jaina glared up at him, but found she couldn't hold the glare for long. She needed help, and she knew it. She couldn't get out of this on her own. And the look in Zekk's eyes made her want to forget everything and fling herself in his arms.  
  
Her voice caught in her throat, and she dropped her gaze. Finding herself suddenly unable to speak, Jaina simply dropped all her barriers, knowing instinctively that somehow, Zekk would get her out of this - just like he always had before.  
  
Almost instantly, she felt Zekk's mind touch hers, plunging into the deepest and most wounded parts of her soul - places even her twin had never been before. Zekk's presence burned white-hot, but yet was so gentle, feeling like cool water over her tortured spirit. As she felt her pain began to truly disappear thanks to the other presence she now felt so strongly, Jaina closed her eyes and surrendered herself to his touch.  
  
  
  
When Jaina's eyes blinked reluctantly open again, she found herself standing on tiptoes to reach Zekk, her arms around his neck, as he held her tightly by the waist, his mouth pressed softly to hers.   
  
Jaina was so startled she very nearly jerked away, but then realized that she had been waiting for this ever since she was fourteen years old. They weren't the same childhood best friends that they had once been - they had inevitably grown up.  
  
But that didn't mean their feelings for each other had faded.  
  
Feeling enveloped by a sense of peace that had eluded her for so long, Jaina closed her eyes again and kissed him harder.   
  
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Two days later, as the Lightning Rod traveled through hyperspace heading back home to Coruscant, Jaina could not get the incredible kiss she had shared with Zekk out of her mind. She often caught herself running her fingertips across her lips to remind herself of how Zekk's mouth had felt on hers.   
  
Just thinking about it made her knees go weak.  
  
Due to their intense mental connection during the time of the kiss, Jaina had sensed Zekk's incredibly strong feelings for her, and she knew that he had also sensed her once-buried feelings for him.  
  
But for some reason, the two had been too shy or scared - or both - to talk about what had happened between them. They hadn't broken the kiss until they finally had to come up for air, and when they did, they had simply stared at each other, both too stunned to say anything.   
  
Finally, Zekk had pulled her close and kissed her again, passionately, but just as she started to respond to the kiss, he abruptly pulled away. Without saying a word, he walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Jaina to wonder what had just passed between them.   
  
  
"We're almost there."  
  
The words jolted Jaina from her reverie. "What?" she asked. "Sorry - my mind was elsewhere."  
  
"I said we're almost there," Zekk replied. "Don't worry - my mind's been elsewhere too lately."  
  
Jaina knew that Zekk was thinking of their kiss, just as she had been. Though their mental connection was not as intense as it had been before and during the kiss, they were now closer than they had ever been. Though Jaina loved their new mental connection, it unnerved her to think that Zekk could probably sense her thoughts, as most of them now revolved around the green eyed young man himself.   
  
Her only consolation was that she also knew he spent most of his time thinking of her.  
  
"You sure you're ready to see your family?" Zekk asked.  
  
Jaina nodded. "I miss them. And I know I have to face them sometime, so I kind of just want to get it over with."  
  
Zekk reached over and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and then turned back to the Lightning Rod's controls. Jaina looked over at him, wondering for the hundredth time what was going to happen with their relationship. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to happen herself.   
  
"Well, no matter what does happen," Zekk said softly, "I'll always be there for you . . . okay?"  
  
Jaina's cheeks colored. "I didn't mean for you to hear that," she murmured.  
  
Zekk smiled faintly. "Just like I don't mean for you to hear my thoughts about you. But we're too close now not too."  
  
"In a way, it's actually kind of nice," Jaina said. "Embarrassing, yes, but nice too. I like being this close to you."  
  
Zekk sent her a smile that nearly made her heart melt, and briefly caressed her cheek. After that, neither of them said a word until they reached Coruscant.  
  
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Hours later, Jaina, sitting at the copilot's seat, watched her home planet come into view as Zekk brought the Lightning Rod down for a landing and one of the many docking bays.  
  
A part-nervous, part-excited tingle ran through her body. She wanted to see her family, but would they want to see her?  
  
She sighed.  
  
"There's only one way to find out," Zekk said softly. Finished with the landing process, he stood up and took her hand in his.   
  
Jaina stood up as well and followed him out of the ship.   
  
  
  
Zekk kept Jaina's hand in his as they headed for the Imperial Palace. The two of them walked through a small park near the entrance, and passed a young couple sitting on a bench and kissing.  
  
Jaina thought she felt something through the Force, but quickly shook her head to clear it. She was just imagining things.  
  
Moving closer to Zekk so that his arm brushed hers, Jaina kept walking and refused to look back.   
  
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Anakin suddenly stiffened as he felt a very familiar presence through the Force, and turned around quickly to see what he knew he was sensing.  
  
Tahiri let out a soft whimper as his lips left hers, and Anakin turned back to her, caressing her cheek with his hand. He leaned close so that his lips brushed her ear and whispered, "Jaina's here."  
  
Tahiri's eyes widened, and she pushed him away from her. *Go after her then!* she exclaimed through the Force.  
  
Anakin grinned and gave her another kiss before getting up and striding after his sister.  
  
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Jaina heard footsteps from behind her, but ignored them and kept walking.  
  
Until she heard a very familiar voice call out her name.  
  
"Jaya?"  
  
Jaina stopped dead in her tracks, forced to hang on to Zekk's arm just to keep from falling. Very slowly, she turned around -   
  
And screamed when she saw her little brother standing there, grinning broadly.  
  
Jaina stared at him, openmouthed and in complete shock, until something hot and wet rose in her eyes, obscuring her vision. Jaina's knees buckled and she fell to the ground, her chest heaving.  
  
Zekk moved back as Anakin rushed to his sister's side, gathering her into his arms. "Jaina, it's okay," Anakin soothed. "Everything is all right."  
  
Jaina just wept, clinging to her brother.  
  
  
Anakin waited until Jaina was finally quieted, then pulled back from her. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.  
  
"Am I okay?" Jaina cried. "I'm seeing dead people! Of course I'm not okay!"  
  
Anakin smiled the famous Solo smile. "Jaina, does it look like I'm dead?"  
  
"Well, last I heard, you certainly were!"  
  
Anakin's smile faded. "I was. But Jacen . . .he brought me back, somehow."  
  
Her eyebrows shot up. "Jacen what?"  
  
"He brought me back," Anakin repeated. "It's a long story."  
  
Jaina pulled herself up off the ground and flung her arms around Anakin's neck, hugging him fiercely. Then, just as abruptly, she pulled back and slapped him across the face.  
  
"Anakin Mikel Solo, if you ever do that to me again, your big sister is going to beat the Sithspawn out of you!"  
  
Anakin grinned. "I don't intend to let that happen."  
  
Then his smile faded. "Jaina, I heard . . . are you okay?"  
  
Jaina met his eyes and nodded. "I'm fine, thanks to him." She gestured towards Zekk.  
  
Anakin raised an eyebrow, glancing at Zekk to make sure he wasn't listening. He was talking to Tahiri, undoubtedly trying to find out what had happened.   
  
"What's going on with you two?" he asked quietly.  
  
"I don't know yet." Jaina was blushing.  
  
"Well, what do you want to happen?"  
  
Jaina sighed. "I don't know that either."  
  
*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*  
  
A week later, Jaina had disappeared from the Imperial Palace in the middle of the night, and Zekk had gone to find her. He was slightly worried about her safety, but more than that, he needed to talk to her and sensed that she needed to talk to him as well.   
  
Zekk barely had to reach out in the Force to find where she was. Grabbing a jacket, he left the palace at a trot.  
  
  
He reached her about twenty minutes later, as she sat on the edge of the fountain at Dhalbreth Square.  
  
Zekk went over and sat next to her, and Jaina did not look at all surprised to see him. "Hi," she said simply, bringing her legs up to tuck her knees to her chest. "What're you doing out this late?"  
  
"I should be asking you that," Zekk answered. "But I needed to talk to you."  
  
"Yes, we do need to talk," Jaina said softly. "I don't want to, but we certainly can't keep avoiding it."  
  
"No, we can't," Zekk agreed.   
  
Jaina's cheeks were turning pink, and she refused to look at him. "I have one question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Who instigated the kiss?"  
  
Zekk shook his head. "I don't know. One minute all I could think of was helping you, and then the next I opened my eyes and I was holding you. You were up on your toes and we were kissing. I don't know any more than that."  
  
Jaina sighed.   
  
"Look, Jaina," Zekk said quietly, "I'm not sorry for that fact that we kissed, whichever one of us started it. But I am sorry if hurt you somehow. You know I would never hurt you on purpose."  
  
"I know," Jaina said quietly. "And I'm not sorry we kissed either. But I just wish . . ." Her voice trailed off, and Zekk could see the tears in her brandy eyes.   
  
He laid his hand comfortingly over hers. "What, Jaina?"  
  
"The Vong made me numb, Zekk. I was immune to any and all emotions. I liked being that way, because then, I couldn't get hurt any more. I was afraid that my emotions would hamper my fighting, so I started blocking out the most powerful ones. At the top of the list were my feelings for you."  
  
She sighed. "I managed to convince myself I would never get hurt, and that if people I knew did, it wouldn't affect me. I was not going to let anything slow down my fighting ability. I've told you, Zekk - I will not be useless.   
  
"It took me a long time, but I finally made myself think that I didn't care about you anymore either. I knew how much losing my wingmate had hurt me. But you - ever since we first met ten years ago, you've been my best friend. Jacen and I are extremely close, but not the way you and I are. If I lost you - it would kill me. I couldn't take it."  
  
Tears began to fall from her eyes. "That's why I was so mean to you and brushed you off so much on the mission." She shook her head bitterly. "I am so stupid, Zekk. I try to keep myself from getting hurt and end up even worse. I'm sorry . . ."  
  
Her voice trailed off, choked with tears. Zekk sighed and drew her into his arms, holding her close. Rocking her back and forth, he said softly, "Jaina, it's okay. I just wish you had told me all this earlier so I could have helped you. You know I hate seeing you hurt."  
  
"What are we going to do about what happened, though? We can't just ignore it."  
  
Zekk pulled back from her. "I know we can't."  
  
"So what are we going to do?"  
  
Zekk hesitated, then took her face in his hands. "This," he whispered, then brought his lips softly to hers.   
  
A split second later, Jaina had her arms around his neck and was kissing him back.   
  
  
Finally, they had to pull away for air. When they did, Jaina laid her hands on Zekk's chest and stared up into his green eyes. She leaned forward, her lips mere centimeters from his -   
  
And then she shoved him into the water.   
  
Zekk started laughing, and he grabbed Jaina's hand and pulled her into the water as well. She shrieked with surprise, then splashed him in retaliation. They were soon engaged in a furious water fight that had them both drenched in a matter of seconds.   
  
Jaina finally held up a hand in a symbol of truce, laughing so hard she could barely catch her breath. They stopped their water battle, and during the reprieve, Jaina pushed her dripping hair out of her face and wrung it in a vain attempt to get the water out. Zekk did the same, peeling off his shirt, which was completely soaked, as were Jaina's own clothes.   
  
Jaina's mouth quirked in the famous Solo grin. "Least there aren't any glowfish here anymore. Security won't come running after us this time."  
  
Zekk laughed at the memories her words invoked, then sobered. "Things have changed a lot since then."  
  
Jaina moved close to him, splashing softly through the water. "Things have changed. A lot of it has been bad, but some of it has still been good. Like this." She trailed a finger down his sculpted chest, then looked up at him, an almost tentative expression on her face. His throat tightened with emotion as he saw the look in her eyes. They were wide, hopeful yet scared, and Zekk could finally see the innocence that had been missing in them for longer than he could remember.   
  
She suddenly hid her face against his shoulder, too scared to continue looking him in the eyes as she finally said what she had been longing to say for years.  
  
"I love you, Zekk. I've always loved you."  
  
Jaina felt herself being pressed even closer to Zekk as he held her tightly in a strong, protective embrace. "I love you too, Jaina. I loved you from the moment I first saw you, and I'll love you until the day I die."  
  
They pulled away from each other, slightly, and forgetting the fact that they were standing in the middle of a fountain, both completely drenched with water, kissed.  
  
Jaina felt dizzy, and tightened her grip on Zekk to keep herself from falling. How she had ever convinced herself that she didn't love this man was beyond her comprehension. Zekk's kisses made her head spin and her knees go weak, and the intensity of his feelings for her, which she could sense through their bond, filled her eyes with tears. He would give his life for her in an instant, she knew, and she would give hers for him.   
  
He was so gentle, so sweet . . . and to her, he was everything.  
  
Suddenly completely overcome by emotion, Jaina fell to her knees in the water, taking Zekk with her. They landed in a tangled, soaking heap, both laughing like the children they had once been. 


End file.
